I have a confession: I pick up books, open them to the middle and read few lines. When Sally Lloyd-Jones, author of The Jesus Storybook Bible, made a comment about people who do that, saying (in her charming British accent) something like, “What?! The order of the words doesn’t matter?!” I shrank in my seat. I often read the end of a book before the beginning. I’m notorious for peeking ahead to middle sections.
As I looked back over my notes from Hutchmoot, I found I wasn’t doing that in a linear fashion either. I think Hutchmoot is more like a book of poetry than a story. Or it’s like an album. I may not listen to it in order — I love the “Shuffle” feature. I find myself soaking in one particular song or poem and ignoring the rest, at least for the time being. I think that with Hutchmoot it’s okay to focus on one or two particularly meaningful sessions before trying to assimilate it all. I’m giving myself permission to do that.
For me, I find myself going back to something Russ Ramsey shared in the “Interview with a Dragon Maker” session. He showed a self-portrait by Van Gogh, the one with the bandaged ear, and pointed out that Van Gogh was not hiding his wound, but putting it out there for all to see. Immediately my mind raced back to Jason Gray singing these words
But in the shaping of my soul
The cut makes me whole
So many people are wounded. We hide our wounds and sometimes let them fester. But those wounds, those painful experiences we go through, are exactly what God is using to shape our soul.
At Hutchmoot, people shared their wounds, their insecurities, their weaknesses and failures. In some strange way, this encouraged.
Van Gogh led with his wound unhidden. Jason Gray led with his speech impediment for all to hear. What is God calling me to lead with?
Sally – Loved meeting you this weekend. Both our brief conversation and your post brought to mind one of my favorite Nouwen quotes – “Our brokenness reveals something about who we are. Our sufferings and pains are not simply bothersome interruptions of our lives; rather they touch us in our uniqueness and our most intimate individuality. The way I am broken tells you something unique about me. The way you are broken tells me something unique about you. That is the reason for my feeling very privileged when you freely share some of your deep pain with me, and that is why it is an expression of my trust in you when I disclose to you something of my vulnerable side.”
Grateful we’ve crossed paths! Julie